^{Wednesday, 16 Aug 2023}

For me, the worst long-term problem with having something like schizophrenia is that I always resolve to apply standards of well-functioning people to myself as I am perceived by them. I wish that I had a “lack of self awareness” when it comes to my own presentation. I think I’m more oblivious to myself than I give credit for, though. When my eyes aren’t glazed over they can be seen through.
I would like to be able to convey what it’s like to someone. I think it’s as easy to explain living everyday with schizophrenia as it to explain having every limb broken. Everyone can probably relate to feeling pressure on a muscle, getting scratched up or cut or bruised or having one limb broken at one time in a memory. But usually not to feeling incapacitated and trapped in a sterile room for what feels like a lifetime with only thoughts for company.
I think I’m a very happy schizophrenic. I love everyone I’ve ever met.

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